Die in India- launching soon!
In India, we have democratised death. Its death for the people, by the people, of the people.
You might be living around the astounding Mount Titlis in Switzerland and enjoying its breathtaking panorama. Or you might be placed in Paris devouring dinner every day with a view of the dazzling Eiffel Tower. Away from the hustle and bustle of city life, might be dwelling on the banks of river Rhine and wondering about its spic and span water or you could be someone decided to spend the rest of life in Venice enticed by its uniqueness. Whichever part of the world you are in; the question is what your plan for salvation is? How do you plan to put a full stop to your life? I know..I know it's a bit ominous to think about the end of life while you are placed in the lavish lap of nature. Ignore my ignominy because progressive communities are futuristic. Aren't they? Therefore, there has to be a place from where you can abode for a heavenly journey. And here is the answer!
Considering the polluted air, the contaminated drinking water and the cold fire on the hundreds of thousands of stoves as the eternal witnesses, I propose the government to launch 'Die in India scheme'. I think our country, due to the unswerving commitment of the political class to ensure the chaos for the common, has finally shown signs of a landmark achievement. We are in a position to tell the world, how effective our planning has been to make our country a land that helps one set free from the worldly worries. We have developed a mechanism which is so apt that very few countries could match with the sheer vigour, valour and validity of the accomplishment. It is dying an Indian death!
There are myriad ways of doing it. Look at the variety that only India can offer. You could be killed for protesting against pollution! Oh Dear! Salute to the thought process of coming up with this solution. People died in Tamil Nadu because they protested against the degrading air and fisheries. The company in question claims of complying by the rules, police assert of abiding by the law and politicians stand divided. Its way beyond the pay grade of Sherlock to unravel the truth. Imagine your death shrouded in secrecy. Fancy the fanatic, welcome to India. You could be killed for eating what you like! O the god of genesis, Indians have surpassed you! Come up with something new. You could lose your life for loving someone who belongs to a different caste! Yeah, other caste…I mean all are human beings, it is just the caste that makes them a different human being while being the same human being scientifically but a different being without being what one needs to be inoder to be considered for being the same being. Bloody hell. I give up.
In a world where countries are being hostile towards immigrants, here is one country that has not only opened its arms but also ammunition for you. You have the audacity to question the status of democracy in India? You breed of half-wit Yankee yokels, we have democratised death. Its death for the people, by the people, of the people.
(This is a satirical piece. The views in the article are personal views of the author)