Ask The Mentalist - Letting go !!

We live in a fast-paced competitive world where there is constant friction of the mind with the heart, wants, desires and choices. There is an age-old need to belong and then there is a constant straining of relationships because of our personal or career strife. There might not be much you can change overnight about how the world functions you can definitely train your mind to filter out the issues that don't matter and retain the ones that do. You have a right to take life easy because you were born to live.

One in every 10 Indians is depressed, about 60 million Indians suffer from mental illnesses. Even with figures like that India spends the least on its mental health because of social stigma or because we just do not recognize the symptoms or worse, we just park it for way too late. You could suffer from excessive exhaustion, aggressive behaviour, concentration issues, miscommunication, obsessive compulsive disorders, preoccupation with gadgets and social media consciousness. It is not normal to be constantly anxious or depressed or weepy. Your brain controls the functioning of the rest of your body, you need to attend to it first.

Hello, I am a 36-year-old woman. I have had a few setbacks in my life. If I sit down and reason them out they aren't as bad as the hardships a lot of people deal with but somehow no matter what successes I have I am not able to let go of those few low phases. It is difficult for me to let go of the past? Even if it were a friend I lost because of a fight I had when I was in 9th grade. I keep revisiting the past and I think I spend a lot of time there.Troubled, Delhi

Dear Troubled, remembering our past is very natural. One does, however, have a choice in what and how we choose to remember our past. What we remember is usually a reflection of what remains unhealed. It helps to identify what one is seeking through revisiting the past. It could be indicative of a need to have a closure, unhealed feelings of loss, a way of self-bashing by reminding oneself of our failures or a way of being scared to be happy and live life to the fullest in the present. Once you are aware of the purpose of revisiting the past, it can guide the healing.

Dr. Shruti Kalra is a Consultant and a Clinical Psychologist at VIMHANS Hospital, Delhi, for the last 10 years. She specializes in the areas of relationships, marital and family Issues, adult mental health, depression, counseling skills and psychological assessment.

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